Help for couples on the brink
When you’re not aligned on whether to stay together or to separate, Discernment Counseling offers a clear, guided process for making a decision.
Serving clients in the greater Twin Cities area via secure telehealth and in-person sessions.
Clear the Chaos
so you have space to reflect
Understand Your Options
for a future that serves you both
Decide Your Next Step
with clarity and intention
To stay or to separate?
That is the question. Wouldn’t it be nice if it were as easy to answer that question as it is to ask it?
In reality, when one partner is leaning out of the marriage while the other is leaning in, it can feel impossible to know what to do next.
In these cases, a unique short-term process called Discernment Counseling gives you and your partner a safe, structured process to come to a decision. We’ll slow down, understand what’s happened in the marriage, and recognize each person’s contributions to the situation. The goal isn’t to solve your relationship issues, but to determine whether these issues are solvable.
A different kind of counseling for a different kind of crossroad
Discernment counseling is a structured, brief process (between 1-5 sessions only) that helps you move beyond confusion. By the end of the process, you and your partner will be ready to make a choice to either rebuild your marriage, move towards separation, or take more time to decide.
A Guided Journey
My role isn’t to push you one way or the other but to guide you so the best decision makes itself clear to you.
Without Judgement
There are no “good guys” or “bad guys” here—just two people trying to make sense of what comes next.
To a Clear Destination
Through deep reflection as a couple and as individuals, you arrive at a decision you both feel confident in.
Stop wondering, start living
When the future of your marriage is uncertain, everything else hangs in the balance. Get the clarity you need to either mend or move onward.
1
Schedule your session
We’ll start with a 2-hour initial session that reserves space for both joint and one-on-one conversations.
In some cases only one session is needed.
2
See things clearly
Over 1-5 sessions (1.5–2 hours each), you’ll clarify your goals, reflect on your role, and consider the best next step.
3
Choose your direction
Decide with confidence whether to recommit to your marriage, move toward divorce, or take a pause.
WHY WORK TOGETHER?
I’m here to help you find the best path forward for
you.
Feeling confused, overwhelmed, pulled in different directions? You’re not alone. Considering divorce is a place no couple ever expects to land, and it’s not something you can plan for.
But, I believe that there is hope on the other side of this confusion—hope in a better future for both of you, however that future looks—we just have to see clearly enough to get there.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Discernment counseling is short-term and focused on helping couples decide whether to stay together or separate—not on fixing the relationship itself. It’s designed for “mixed-agenda” couples, where one partner is leaning out and unsure, and the other is leaning in and hoping to work things out. The goal isn’t to solve every issue but to help you both gain clarity and confidence about your next step.
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If one of you is considering ending the relationship and the other wants to save it, this process helps you slow down, understand what’s gone wrong, and explore your options with honesty and respect. It’s not for couples who are both ready to do the work of therapy—that’s when couples therapy or the Relationship Bootcamp would be a better fit.
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Discernment counseling typically lasts between one and five sessions and you decide each session if you’d like to continue.
Each session includes time together and one-on-one conversations with me, so both partners can be heard and understood. By the end, you’ll decide on one of three paths: staying the course for now, separating, or committing to a six-month effort in couples therapy with divorce off the table during that time.
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Discernment counseling gives you space to slow down and get clear about what’s really happening in your relationship before making a big decision. It’s not about fixing the relationship, but about understanding how you got here and what each of you truly wants. Most couples leave feeling more grounded, honest, and confident about their next step – whatever that may be.
If nothing changes,
the decision just feels harder.
The only way out of the weeds is through them. With Discernment Counseling, you can see your relationship through clear eyes and come to a decision together about where to go from here.
