RELATIONSHIP THERAPY · WAYZATA, MN & ONLINE
Relational Life Therapy in Wayzata, MN
Therapy that tells you the truth, and teaches you what to do with it.
Same fight, different day.
The details change. Money, chores, in-laws, how you each parent. But the fight goes the same way every time. One of you pushes, the other pulls back, and you both end up feeling alone.
Maybe you’ve tried therapy before, and it felt like a lot of talking without much changing.
Most couples I see aren’t short on love. They’re short on skills. Nobody taught us how to stay close when things get hard.
SOUND FAMILIAR?
Feeling more like roommates than partners
Needing to be right, even when it costs you the connection
Trying to manage how your partner thinks or feels
Saying everything you feel the second you feel it
Going quiet and pulling away until it blows over
THE APPROACH
How Relational Life Therapy Works
Relational Life Therapy (RLT) was developed by family therapist Terry Real. It’s more direct than most couples therapy. I’ll tell you what I see, kindly and honestly, including the part each of you plays.
I also don’t assume every problem is 50/50. Sometimes one person needs to make a bigger change first. If that’s the case, I’ll say so and help you both through it.
THE WORK
Three Phases
This work goes deeper than learning better communication. Each phase builds on the last, so what you understand in session starts to change what happens at home.
You don’t have to wait for your partner to change. You’ll learn your own part in the pattern and what you can do differently, right away.
Wake up
We name the cycle you keep getting stuck in and each person’s part in it. You’ll start to recognize the pattern while it’s happening, so you can begin to break it.
Heal what’s underneath
Those patterns usually started as ways to protect yourself. We work on those older wounds with your partner in the room, so you can understand each other’s pain, not just hear about it.
Build lifelong skills
You’ll practice speaking up with love, listening without getting defensive, negotiating, apologizing, and repairing. The goal is to leave with skills you can keep using without me.
Intimacy is not something you have, it’s something you do, and you can learn to do it better.
Terry Real
WHY WORK WITH ME
I’ll tell you the truth, and I’ll be in it with you.
I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified Relational Life Therapist, with 8+ years in practice. I'm one of about 100 therapists worldwide trained to lead Terry Real's Relationship Bootcamp. I've also trained in experiential and brain-based approaches with Juliane Taylor Shore, which helps us slow down, go deep, get to the root of what’s happening, and build sustainable practices.
I'm a fellow traveler; I practice this stuff at home too.
IMAGINE IF YOU…
✓ Noticed the pattern while it was happening
and could choose a different response.
✓ Could bring up hard things without a blow-up
and actually feel heard.
✓ Felt like you were on the same team
even when you disagree.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
Change is possible.
STEP 1
Reach out
A free 15-minute call. I’ll give you my honest take on where to start.
STEP 2
Come in for your first session
We’ll start mapping what’s happening between you and what you want to change.
STEP 3
Build the relationship you want
Honest feedback, deeper work, and new skills you can use right away.
Common questions about RLT
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RLT is a model of couples therapy developed by family therapist and bestselling author Terry Real. It draws on family systems, trauma work, and feminist therapy. It moves in three phases: seeing the pattern, healing what drives it, and building skills to keep the change going.
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No. If you’ve read his books and they hit home, that’s a great head start, but nothing is required. I’ll teach you everything you need in session.
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Yes. When one person changes their side of the pattern, the whole dance changes. Many people start individually, and some partners join later.
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Many approaches ask the therapist to stay neutral. In RLT, I’ll tell you what I see, including when one of you needs to change more. We also go past communication tips to what’s driving each of you, and then practice concrete skills right in the room.
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Most couples feel that way when they first reach out. RLT was built for hard situations, including affairs, years of distance, and one partner with a foot out the door. If you’re not sure whether to stay together, Discernment Counseling may be the right place to start.
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Couples work needs room. Longer sessions give us time to get underneath the surface fight, work on what’s driving it, and practice something new before you leave, instead of stopping just as things open up.
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The Essential Relationship Skills Bootcamp is a two-day group workshop that teaches the core RLT framework and skills. Many couples start there because it makes therapy work faster, and it’s a great first step if your partner isn’t ready for therapy.
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I don’t bill insurance directly, but many clients use their out-of-network benefits for partial reimbursement. You can also pay with an HSA or FSA card, and I’ll provide everything you need if you’d like to submit for reimbursement.
READY TO GET STARTED?
If nothing changes, the fight keeps repeating.
