— RELATIONSHIP THERAPY · WAYZATA, MN & ONLINE

Relational Life Therapy in Wayzata

Get to the root of the fight you keep having, then learn exactly what to do instead.

Book a free 15-minute consult
How RLT works

◆ LICENSED MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPIST    ◆ CERTIFIED RLT PRACTITIONER    ◆ HELPING COUPLES SINCE 2018    ◆ IN PERSON & TELEHEALTH

SOUND FAMILIAR?

Same fight, different day.

You love each other. You just don’t like how you treat each other when things get hard. Maybe you’ve noticed:

  • The topic changes, but the argument never does

  • One of you pushes, and the other shuts down

  • One of you is done asking nicely

  • You’ve tried therapy before, and it felt like talking in circles

  • You’ve read Terry Real’s books and thought, “That’s us”

These patterns aren’t character flaws. They’re what each of you learned growing up to protect yourself. In RLT, the blame goes on the pattern, not on either of you. And patterns can change.

Therapy that tells you the truth.

I

Honest, not neutral

Not every problem is 50/50. When one partner’s behavior is doing more damage, I’ll say so, kindly and directly. Terry Real calls this joining through the truth. You’ll both feel understood, and you’ll both be asked to change.

II

Healing with your partner in the room

We look at where each of your reactions started, with your partner as witness. When your partner finally sees what you’ve been carrying, the fighting often softens.

III

Skills you’ll use for life

RLT names five moves that reliably make things worse, like needing to be right or withdrawing. You’ll learn to catch yours and replace them with skills that work: a time-out that actually helps, the Feedback Wheel for saying hard things without a fight, and real repair after conflict.

YOUR PATH FORWARD

Intimacy isn’t something you have. It’s something you do.

01 — Let’s connect

Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to share what’s happening and see if we’re a good fit.

02 — Get to the root

Together, we’ll name the pattern you’re stuck in and where it comes from for each of you.

03 — Live it

Practice new skills until they’re your default, so hard conversations bring you closer instead of further apart.

I ask couples to commit to three sessions. After the third, we talk honestly about whether this is working.

“Love that lasts is built, not found.”

SARAH BORRELL, LMFT

Black and white portrait of a woman with wavy hair, wearing a white blouse and a delicate necklace, smiling slightly.

WHY WORK TOGETHER?

I’ll tell you the truth, and I’ll be in it with you.

Hi, I’m Sarah. Since 2018, I’ve helped couples step out of painful cycles and find their way back to each other. I’m a certified Relational Life Therapy practitioner, trained through the Relational Life Institute that Terry Real founded.

I don’t sit back and nod. I’ll tell you what I see, and I’ll be on the side of your relationship the whole way. I use these same skills in my own relationship, and I don’t always get them right either.

GET TO KNOW ME BETTER

Frequently Asked Questions

  • RLT is a model of couples therapy developed by family therapist and bestselling author Terry Real. It draws on family systems, trauma work, and feminist therapy. It moves in three phases: seeing the pattern, healing what drives it, and building skills to keep the change going.

  • No. If you’ve read his books and they hit home, that’s a great head start, but nothing is required. I’ll teach you everything you need in session.

  • Yes. When one person changes their side of the pattern, the whole dance changes. Many people start individually, and some partners join later.

  • Many approaches ask the therapist to stay neutral. In RLT, I’ll tell you what I see, including when one of you needs to change more. We also go past communication tips to what’s driving each of you, and then practice concrete skills right in the room.

  • Most couples feel that way when they first reach out. RLT was built for hard situations, including affairs, years of distance, and one partner with a foot out the door. If you’re not sure whether to stay together, Discernment Counseling may be the right place to start.

  • Couples work needs room. Longer sessions give us time to get underneath the surface fight, work on what’s driving it, and practice something new before you leave, instead of stopping just as things open up.

  • The Essential Relationship Skills Bootcamp is a two-day group workshop that teaches the core RLT framework and skills. Many couples start there because it makes therapy work faster, and it’s a great first step if your partner isn’t ready for therapy.

  • I don’t bill insurance directly, but many clients use their out-of-network benefits for partial reimbursement. You can also pay with an HSA or FSA card, and I’ll provide everything you need if you’d like to submit for reimbursement.

If nothing changes, the distance grows. It doesn’t have to.

The pattern you’re in was learned, which means it can be unlearned. Let’s talk about where to start.

BOOK A FREE 15-MINUTE CONSULT

Not ready yet? Take Terry Real’s free Relationship Grid quiz or read the FAQ.